Recently, while scrolling on social media I noticed a woman speaking about a group she had started for women whose children had grown up and left home and who might be better placed financially and emotionally living a nomadic life staying in established, low-cost locations around the globe. She was proposing to start securing some low-cost rental accommodation in different parts of the world that like-minded women could use in this regard.

Great concept, right? 

The first red flag I noticed was she had no emotion in her voice and spoke in a monotone. Predatory personalities have ‘shallow affect’. Their speaking voice is naturally flat, dull, with no fluctuations in tone or volume. They do not emote and must act out emotional responses. Many don’t bother or are not good at it. Even this woman’s laugh had no ‘energy’. It was flat.

She was using a hard-sell approach to get women to contribute financially to her extensive travel through a funding platform with no governance structure in place—second red flag.

She was targeting a vulnerable group—third red flag. Some of the women engaging in this platform were recounting concerns about funding their retirement years, having limited contact with their grown children, and husbands leaving them once the children had left home.

She posted a photo of a handwritten calculation, which she referred to as a ‘reconciliation’ for her and a friend’s first overseas trip to explore accommodation options, but the costs were clearly far too low and income was not included—fourth red flag. 

Although financials were scribbled on paper, she provided a sophisticated electronically generated table about a week later with cumulative data about the thousands of group members and the countries they lived in. There was an incongruency—fifth red flag. 

She controlled everything tightly so no posts to the group could be made without her vetting them, people could not liaise directly with each other, chats were quickly deleted if they had a hint of moving outside her agenda, etc. —sixth red flag. Control is the strongest driver of predatory personalities. 

She started to discuss business models which involved the group owning property in different countries and appealed to high net worth group members to come forward. This was still not a registered business. A seventh red flag. 

As a few people started to challenge her she powerfully increased the presence of a friend in videos, in discussions, in comments, in travel. This strategy of the intertwined inclusion of a second person I refer to as ‘the partner henchman’ and which I discuss earlier in this chapter. It makes the predatory personality more powerful and reduces the ability of others to challenge—eighth red flag. 

She posted some oddly sexualised videos of herself including one of her rolling in the shallows at a beach and another with her bathers pulled up over her butt cheeks on a boat. This could just be a bit of fun, sure, but it just seemed a bit odd, out of context. Data shows sexuality is a huge part of predatory personalities, including behaviours that are even slightly ‘off’ or not appropriate—ninth red flag.  

At this point I decided to do some research. It did not take long to find: 

1. This woman had publicly admitted in a media story to breaking into houses when she was younger because she was bored. 

2. She started a charity previously and asked that donations be deposited into her personal business account. 

3. She had registered a number of businesses using several different names. 

4. She was getting a $50 kickback on each accommodation booking women made, which was in the small print but not publicly discussed.

All of these factors do not necessarily mean this woman is a human predator, but it would make me concerned enough not to engage. She posted a video addressing rumours that she was involved in some kind of fraudulent behaviour which she later deleted. Too many concerns, right? You would be surprised, though, at how many people would still go along with the concept because they WANT it to be true. A community of generally retired women connecting in different parts of the would no doubt sound amazing to a huge number of people in this cohort. This is how dark personalities are so successful in exploiting people. The higher functioning ones usually have a really great platform. Plus, they are convincing, compelling, and they seem legitimate. They have an explanation for every red flag. There are always people who have a good experience with predators, too, and who are willing to sing their praises. Predators groom supporters for this very purpose. You must make up your own mind based on your own research regarding any person you decide to support or trust. Research is key.

In the 2 months since writing this section and going to print, women have started publishing accounts of being financially compromised and misled by the woman in this case study, while one woman is publishing regular social media updates on further behaviours of exploitation, inconsistency, fabrication, and manipulation.